Jesus, medicine bottle or Pity Me?

My, the deep north is an interesting place. The A1 however, is not.

It is full of exciting names : Shiney Row (which consists of a few shops, which are barely in a row, and certainly aren't shiney), No Place, and Pity Me (my personal favourite). Durham is quite a nice place, which surprised me muchly. It's older than I expected, and cathedral was quite nice. We spent a portion of the afternoon sat by the river Wear watching all that floated by... Katie dropped her 'Jesus loves me' wristband in the river, and then retreived it, after a bird pooped on her. She was torn between saving the 'Jesus loves me' wristband, or a random medicine bottle. In the end she saved her wristband, and got Tom to save the medicine bottle. Twice. Turns out the bottle was for meth. Ahhh the north-east. Le class.

Isn't Julia perculia?

Well good evening readers, all 4 of you now apparently... I did not blogg yesterday, as it was a bit of a nothingy day. I think I dropped my sister's friend off home, and then me and fishy (that is what I call my beloved sister) went for a random drive, the long way, home, as it was sunny, and I felt it should be done...

I went to see 'Knowing' last night, which aside from Nicholas Cage's horrendous southern accent - Southern American, not English - and the terrible "oh, it was aliens/angels all along..." plotline, wasn't a good film. I appreciated it on a cinematography level, which was a rarity. The effects, and the camera work was very good. I was impressed.

Today I took the mother to Asda *hisses* and then to pick up some £300 curtains for my sisters room. Then went to IKEA mit Ruth, and made it my mission to sit on every sofa, whilst Ruth decided she needed to know the contents of every drawer/cupboard. I'm gonna get kicked out of there one day... The IKEA trip was followed by a trip to Asda *hisses*, where they attacked Sainsbury's - you know, their crafty scam saying "look how many more products are cheaper at Asda than Sainsbury's". A line was crossed. I am most unimpressed. However, I got 3 bottles of wine for a tenner, so I can't complain.

Tomorrow I go to the deep North - Durham. Wish me luck.

Le grill?! What the hell is that?!

Well, today has been dull. Again. Although I got to drive, well taxi really, which was fun.

I don't understand why James Morrison did a 'collaboration' with Nelly Furtardo (Silly Canadian). Whenever he performs the song live, she is never there, and they either get someone else to sing her bit, or he just sings it. Pointless. Daft bint. I bet she didn't even turn up to film his video with him.

Yes, I know, that was a random rant... On another note, I watched Wall.E last night. It was such a goooooood film. I LOVED it. And I rarely find that with films. So it was good.

Hmmmm... Crec que és tot. Adéu.

Que pensaste?

Eeeep! That is such a messy, messy verb. (It means 'What did you think?', a single thinking action that ended in the past to be precise) Almost as bad as acababa (meaning 'I/He/She/It used to finish, or did it as a habitual action in the past, to be precise). Almost, but not quite.

My plan to stay up until midnight and watch 'The Apprentice' failed. Miserably. At 11pm, I could stay awake no longer, and went to bed to endure a night of poor sleeping. So, to avoid disappointment, I started downloading it at 9am. It finished downloading, finally, just before 7pm. Talk about taking AGES. But, I got to watch it, and it was worth it :)

I took the mother to Wakefield today, and she bought me clothes in Primark, as well as coffee. It was good.

Apart from that, not alot happened today...

That is so cliché.

Well, greetings readers, all 3 of you...

Yesterday night I went to see 'Lesbian Vampire Killers'. So many clichés. But, despite it being utterly TERRIBLE, i enjoyed it. It was nice to meet up with Fanwi again :) Oh gawd, there were so many chavs at Xscape. So many. We also ended up outside the cinema screen as 'Marley & Me' finished. So many crying kids. And women. And grown men. I assumed it was about a dog. And based on so many people crying, I assume it dies.

Owain came down all the way from Kendal today, and Catherine, Owain and me voyaged to Meadowhall. After Owain got on the wrong train, and ended up going to Wakefield instead of Castleford. So that was another wasted trek. We ended up going to see 'Mall Cop' in the cinema. Actually worse than Lesbian Vampire Killers. Predictable isn't even close to the correct description. Terrible.

I conquered Leeds at rush hour :)

Magnum PI to Customer Services

Today has been a rather dull one. I offered to take the mother to the supermarket, and this naturally entailed taking her to the doctor's beforehand. 'I won't be long' were her exact words. Half an hour later she emerged. Apparently her doctor is a Catalan. I asked if she had a vaguely Russian accent, and mother replied "I thought she was Polish". This means yes, I think. During the epic half hour, I noticed that Featherstone has quite a large population of the elderly. God, I hate the elderly.

And then it happened. I made it to Tesco. I really HATE Tesco. More than I hate the elderly. You enter into what can only be described as a hollowed out warehouse with giant frontal windows, and the first thing that greets you is a giant cardboard cut out of a pile of shopping baskets. One blue, the colour of innocence and globalisation, and one green, the colour of evil and world domination (According to Tesco). This of course represents Tesco and ASDA. Now all good Yorkshire-folk know that ASDA is the superior supermarché, and that Tesco are the anti-christ in supermarket form. If this isn't enough, they get you whilst you're going round, making your purchases, with snidey little jibes like "ooo aren't you glad you came to buy your obscure brand of crackers here - they're 3pence more in Sainsbury's".

I got my revenge. I spent the whole time saying rather loudly "HOW MUCH?!" at everything, enraging my mother who is Tesco's number one fan. This was followed by "It's cheaper at Sainsbury's!" and then by "Shut up, Martin!" Failing that, I said rather loudly "LIES!" in response to their signs telling me how expensive other supermarkets were. They attacked Sainsbury's. They went too far.

Also, I swear to God I heard the tannoy announce "Magnum PI to the Customer Service desk". As if my shock wasn't enough, they announced it again. Oh Tesco.

Calm down, dear. It's only a commercial.

So I arrived home, alive and well. I was naturally greeted by the emptiness of our street, so it was all good.

The first thing I saw when I looked out of my bedroom window was a small child, riding on a bike. Nothing unusual at all about this you may ask, but the small child was a boy of about 10, and the bike was aimed at 5 year old girls. Noone dare question the child, he looks like a chav. This concerns me. They're not allowed on my estate!

Also, when did Michael Winner (another famous nobody) make eSure adverts again? Why did noone stop him doing this?!

La vache est morte. Vive la vache!

This is true people. The cow is dead. But it's memory lives on.

I am of course referring to the death of the awesome cow cake that was made for Katie's birthday. If you (all 3 of you) go back through the archives, you can find a picture... Jesus. I'm listening to Radio 1 now (It's the only thing I've not packed away) and Take That are wailing away to Patience. Not doubting the song, but it does wail alot...

This will be my last blogg from laShire (hmmm that didn't work...) as I am returning to the Shire in a few hours. I'm taking alot more home than I thought I was going to... But oh well... I have survived being in the house alone - no muggings/robbings/murderings/etc - so all is good. I did notice though, it is human instinct to shut and lock the bathroom door. Even if noone else is in the house. I personally think it's there just in case a burglar comes in - we don't want them to see us doing our business!

Mmmm. Yoghurt.

Les escaliers de la butte sont durs aux miséreux... Maybe...

I wrote French from French I listened to. So it may be wrong. I really should start doing some work. But I shall do it at home, then no doubt get asked to work, and will thus end up not doing any work at all. But, oh well!

Why is French so listen-able? I mean I could just sit and listen to it all day. As with

"poke poke poke poke her face poke poke poke her face"

Lols.

Supercatalunyipastarrufimillonoso.

Yes, you heard it. Supercatalunyipastarrufimillonoso. I actually have no idea what it means, but it was included in some very strange Catalan comedy, and may have been mocking Zapatero, or ZP Poppins as they called him... Honestly, it's much better than French comedy, which for those of you who don't know, is just ABYSMAL. I mean seriously bad. Except for Les Guignols. I'll give them credit for that. It's like Spitting Image. But still alive.

Since Naomi left the house (Katie left on Friday), I have been paranoid and expecting men with bags on their heads to just be standing there, ready to mug/kill/stab me... However, today, I will tidy. So if the bagmen do come to kill me, the house will be tidy. Annnddddd... I'm going home tomorrow!!

I think I shall rename my blog.

Les Hauts de Hurlevent

For those of you (all 3 of you) who don't know what that means, it's the French title of Wuthering Heights. As Stephenie Meyer seems to have based alot of her books on other books, they have really gotten into Les Hauts de Hurlevent via one of her books...

“I dream of going to the place where the novel is set, in Le Yorkshire beaten by the wind,”

Don't we all, dear frog. Don't we all...

Well yesterday was a bit nothingy. Not alot happened durante el dia, but in the evening I went to Katie's, via the chippy, and watched Mamma Mia... Everything about that 'film' screams terrible, terrible, TERRIBLE! but you just can't stop watching...

Today I shall make a feast of chicken things, sausages, stuffing and chips... maybe with some gravy... all because many of the above go out of date soon... so much class...

*Gurns a la Dawn French mocking Julie Walters*

We trust the fridge.

Damn right we do!

It has been very summery today. Ok, so it's not been massively warm, but we spent half of Catalan sat on the grass outside County doing the lesson. It was a much more attractive idea in principle. Once we got there, Maria was determined to continue the lesson. And then we just felt like geeks. Well I did.

I am now FREEEEEEE (except for Catalan, and my YA) until 2010!!! Excitement! Although I have the troublesome Cross Cultural Project and a nice simple Catalan coursework. I love Catalan courseworks. They're not too hard, but they're not quite simple.

Hmmm I think this is all I have to say for now...

Oh what a world it seems we live in...

There is nothing.

Well, today I feel like death in a bag. I ended up going out last night, spur of the moment, proper outage, and it was fun... until I woke up this morning with an urge to vomit everywhere. Sadly this urge to vomit is still very present, but nothing has come of it so far... I got a grammar test back today, and did quite well, so I'm quite chuffed with that. Me gusta mucho el espanol...

Carme, our grammar tutor, well I suppose ex-grammar tutor now, decided to show us Spanish news, as something to do... I'm gonna be honest, it was gross. They were down on Barceloneta (or robbing beach as I have named it) with all the Spaniards who are enjoying their heat - actual heat + sun. We're talking 24degrees... It was so gross... Old men in speedos. That was nearly enough to make me vom.

I am also carrying a bottle of Martini around in my bag. Cos I'm just that classy.

I forgot about the wine!

Well today is yet another suspiciously sunny day in the Shire of Lancs... Most people now think it's acceptable to wear shorts and flip flops. It is not. It isn't warm! It is cold!

Cold + Sun ≠ SUMMER. Summer = sun + HOT.

Fools. I contemplated re-attempting yesterday's culinary malady, but I decided it's for the best that I don't... for now anyway. Mother wants me to make some brownies when I get home, and this I will consider, so long as the ingredients are there.

It seems I have become deaf in my right ear. Again. It's temporary. It'll only last about a week or so... But then I'll be able to hear. Oh well. Today we are having a 'fun' lesson in Spanish. This concerns me, as 'fun' and 'lesson', and indeed 'Spanish' should not go together. Ever. I'm a little scared. But there has been promise of wine. So it's all good. Rioja at 11am. I don't think I'll ever have felt classier. Eep that last sentence was a grammatical nightmare. I could never say that in foreign...

Bleurgh.

The 'gingerbread men' did not turn out as well as I had expected. I at least expect some hint of niceness in them. There is none. Very disappointed. Not even worth giving to my Spanish group tomorrow to soak up the wine. Oh well.

I also just conjugated 'dar' (a verb meaning to give) to the tune of the pink panther. Geek I am.

Satan's furry jam hats!

Well, today is the day of Wednes. And as usual, I am struggling to think of things to do to make it go by quicker. Or at least I was, until I had a brainwave last night. This was followed by a sudden urge to bake (yes it's back!) So I popped off down to Sainsbury's (after an excrutiating 50minutes of French [last French lesson til 2010!]) and purchased some ingredients. After waiting for what seemed like an eternity for the treacle mix (treacle, brown sugar, spices and butter) to cool, i proceeded with adding it to the ridiculous amount of flour... I'm pretty sure where I went wrong was by adding so much black treacle. At present I am waiting for the 'dough' to do it's thing in the fridge, after which I will roll to the required thickness and then cook. I'm not looking forward to it. This could be as bad as the burnt brownies fiasco.

I'm still wondering why the hell fire engines around these parts are orange instead of red! It's so annoying! I have also become a little bit addicted to Twitter. Twitter is such an odd website: it's just a way of stalking celebrities in a legal manner. Molt extrany. Also, youtube "si demain" it's by bonnie tyler and some french woman, and is essentially Total Eclipse of the Heart in French. Bonnie Tyler isn't that bad at saying French. This surprises me. Also surprising how Naaman remembers my name, but noone elses. Scary. Not surprising.

I got ham, but I'm not a hamster.

Ahhh Bill Bailey. Quel Genius!

Well today, for all those who didn't know (myself included until I was reminded) today is St. Patrick's day. In America, this is used as an excuse for those of vague Irish descendence to get drunk in the street, have a parade and everything. Where is St. George's day parade? There's more people who are of english than of Irish descent (unless that many Irish people really did go to America). Still. They'd be nothing if we hadn't let them win their War of 'Independence'. Fools.

Yesterday was quite a pleasing day. Sunny. Got 68(maybe, I've forgotten) on my Spanish 'group presentation'. And got 63 on the French grammar test. Biggest miracle since that Jesus-bloke went around doing stuff. And developped an addiction for 'ginger finger biscuits' which alarmed me. I have to force myself from not scoffing the lot!

I interviewed my last 'foreigner' for my Cross-Cultural thing, so now all I have to do is type up what they said, and then make a report about it. Somehow.

Top o' the morning to y'all!

One a penny, two a penny...

Well, as you noticed I didn't blogg yesterday. This is because Sunday is the day of nothingness. It's true. Nothing ever happens. Apart from England beating France in some game known as 'rugby'.

So yes, my Italian friend asked me today what we do in England for Easter. Naturally we have the Easter Eggs, then I hit the wall... I had no idea. Then I remembered Hot Cross Buns. Which was followed by 'What are they?'. Now this is as difficult as describing what Yorkshire Pudding is to a Frenchman, and watching in horror as you describe how 'they're sort of like crepes, but savoury' - "Yoo meen zey'r not a pooding". I felt inspired by this to see how they're made. Christ, did I regret it. (http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/database/hotcrossbuns_397.shtml) There is the link. It all looks incredibly complicated. I wish he'd never asked...

I'm more likely to win the Grand National on a badger.

Well, today has been another lazy Saturday of nothing. I awoke early, and went all the way to Sainsburys. Because I was cheap, and bought alot of own-brand, I mean 'smart price' own brand, I only spent £17, so I was pleased. And I avoided Nannageddon.

I cleaned the living room today. And almost got rid of the smell of skank which lives there. However, we went to the chippy for tea, and a new smell lingers in there now. Not good. However, Robert Webb won the thingy, which is all good.

My blue mug is still missing.

I want a typewriter.

Gah! Procrastination!

Today has been a fair day... I did not revise for the Spanish grammar test I had at 9am, however, was rewarded for this by it being erm... not simple, not great, but quite good... Better than expected. This sadly cannot be said for the Spanish listening. Flora didn't quite seem to get that none of us could hear the tape, as it was a tape, as was naturally fuzzy (I wrote fuzzAY during my first attempt at that word) and every time the bit you needed came up, it went mumbley... Gah!

Then Katie forgot her keys, so I went home to take them to her. Why is it that when you're in a rush, everything conspires to hinder your progress? The bus taking ages to turn up. The slowest bus driver. Ever. A lorry in the road. Old people. Crossing the road. Crossing the road, again. The slowest bus driver. Ever. [The previous one, it turns out is only the second slowest driver] People in the way. Smokers. But. I was not the last one to Catalan. So all is good.

Last night I became Naomi's practice dummy for TaeKwonDo. It was interesting to say the least. At least I know that if I'm ever with Naomi and she gets attacked by a man punching her with his right hand, in a rigid fashion, or indeed, he kicks her in a rigid fashion, she can defend herself. But only if he kicks/punches her with his right leg/hand. But why would they kick with the left? Why? It's just plain rude!

I have my little book of Catalan grammar out (God I'm a geek), ready to update for the first time since before Christmas. Estic molt desorganitzat!

Bus protocol.

I have realised recently that 'bus protocol', i.e. how to behave correctly on the bus, and at bus stops, is somewhat different here in Lancaster to that which I am used to at home, in wondrous Yorkshire. At home, the elderly take priority when getting on and off the bus. Even if you were there first. They have to get on first, otherwise they will be chuntering all the way to the next stop (as that is where they will get off the bus) about your insolence at not letting them get on first ["I survived the war don't you know... They couldn't cope today" etc etc].

{I am breaking off from my blogg rant to express my sheer OUTRAGE at the mature student who has just returned to their computer, after baggsying it by spreading lots of books about by it... shocking.}

And now I return. However, due to the lack of the elderly here, such protocol is none-existent. Instead of following the 'I was here first' rule, it appears that bus stops are a mere free-for-all. The worst kind being the underpass. And getting off? Well. That just depends on how polite the individual is feeling on that particular day.

There was a person wailing in square earlier on, which concerned me. It also reminded me of the other day, when a man, who was at least in his mid-50s, was doing Tai-Chi in the middle of the quad in Bowland North (this place, if you didn't know, has lots of seminar rooms around it, where people wait to go into their seminars), and was mildly amusing. He was goddam brave to be doing that...

In my final year, Sian has presented me with the option of living in CityBlock in town, which, if I'm honest, looks fricking awesome. The only thing holding me back, is that I did want to live on-campus in my final year. However, this place is ridiculously awesome, so I am considering emailing them asking to be put on a priority list for final year. I do hope I can get in there :)

Pogrom: an organised persecution and massacre [Russian: destruction]

I have just had to resist the biggest urge to read the dictionary. I know it sounds sad. Hell, I even feel ashamed to have admitted that, but I was looking up 'pogrom' as it appeared in a text I was reading for my Spanish 'portfolio', and the translation it gave me was 'pogrom'. Once again, wordreference.com lets me down.

I am currently waiting for my picture to upload onto Twitter so I can be cool and have a picture. But, as usual, the Internet hates me, and it is taking forever. And now, Twitter tells me that it is 'Over Capacity'. Typical. I hate modern technology. I also hate French.

Yes, my crusade against all things Gallic continues. Today we went over the grammar test from last week, and I learnt that the part I thought I'd done OK on, I had not. Again. At least I have Spanish...

Barcelona is looking increasingly possible as a YA option, as Becca has been nagging people, and well, only an idiot could say no to Barcelona! I hope it happens, I really want to go and get away! I need to go to Sainsburys tomorrow... I had so many exciting things to blogg about today, but they have all escaped from my brain... Ho sento molt...

She's not Welsh is she?

So my Blackadder 'crusade' is nearly complete, with 2 more episodes of Blackadder goes Forth to go, thankfully they are the best :) Although I do have the Back and Forth episode to watch too, which is a masterpiece!

I had my French listening today. God, I hate French. For one, that sentence would not have contained nearly as many capital letters as the english does, if it were in French. Nor would that one. The lazy buggers never capitalise adjectives, ex. les Francais - is a noun, la langue francais - the francais is an adjective so as such, is not capitalised. They don't even capitalise their own language. Tards. But yes, the listening was so hard. They kept talking over each other, and the woman sounded very manly. Not impressed.

Becca and myself have begun a crusade to persuade (oooh that rhymed) people to want to go to Barcelona University, so that we can go there, as enough interest will have been expressed. Fingers crossed this will work, and I can say 'I studied in Barcelona for 4 months, don't you know...' How nouveau riche I shall be...

Tengo hambre, pero no puedo movarme hasta las dos :(

Opération Escargot.

That is a 'go-slow' if you didn't know, in French, literally 'Operation Snail'. Oh the French and their snails...

This morning, I got up in time to watch morning TV. A few things: Konnie Huq is on GMTV?! GMTV has changed their tunage to make it sound more opera-y?! AND Mr. Motivator is back?! Something is incredibly wrong. I felt like I'd woken up in 1996! But, never fear! Jeremy Kyle brought me crashing back into 2009! Oh it's so much fun. You can always guarantee that the person who appears first, and always plays innocent, will be backstabbed by nasty Jezza! Such fun...

I went to campus an hour early today, so I could watch Spanish TV and keep Flora happy. As it turns out, it was locked, which confused me as there was no explanation to this locking. It was between 10 and 4. There was no sign telling me someone was absent. It just wasn't unlocked. Not to whinge about this again, but three grand a year, and it's shut?! So I went to the library, and as it was packed, I ended up on the top floor. God I hate the library. There are never enough computers. And never one when you need one!

But, despite this, Flora's was a good lesson. Samantha recommended I become a hermit to avoid my messy housemates, and I recommended she stop crying over her boyfriend leaving her. Both fictional events. Obviously.

Yesterday I worked my way through Blackadder the Third (the one with Prince George), and then commenced my way through Blackadder goes Forth. I may finish that one today, mais on verra...

I'm Merlin the happy pig.

So yes, albeingwell, the picture of Katie's IMMENSE cake will upload and you can all marvel at it, whoever you all are...

Huzzah! It worked!

Well let me see... What's been happening recently... Erm, in Spanish, I decided when I find a job, after 10 years I will go to Peru, buy a farm and raise potatoes. I use the verb 'raise' because I used this in Spanish, and felt the meaning was much more fitting. So, yes, one day, I will have an army of Peruvian potatoes who will aid me in my plans to conquer the world...

Since yesterday, I have watched two GREAT films. The Shining and Crash. The first one isn't that scary to be honest, the music builds the tension and fear... And Jack Nicholson making his way through a door with an axe (apparently America spells this without the E, cos they are special) is pretty scary too. But content wise it's not scary, apart from the girls, who are not twins, but are British, so are naturally evil. And the random girl (who I assume has the 'shining') shaking and foaming at the mouth when the boy goes into room 237... All very odd. But, incredibly good. Crash is just as good, but for different reasons. At first I was appalled at the racism in the film, but then slowly grew to think how amazing the film was. Like 'La Haine' for all those who suffered French Culture last year, but much, much better.

That is all. You may go now.

Lizzie go plop plop.

My epic journey through the land of Blackadder is slowing down somewhat. This is mainly because as yesterday was Katie's birthday, many things happened. An awesome cake was made by Naomi. It was a cow, and incredibly awesome. In fact, it still is a cow, as it has not been touched, it just stays there looking amazing on the table.

This is all I can think of to blogg at the moment... Maybe more will arrive later...

If I knew you were coming...

... I'd have baked a cake.

Today it is my housemates' birthday. She has joined the elite club that is the over 20's. In three years and 95 days she can claim she is a 'twenty-something'. I personally am not looking forward to this day, as I can't see me achieving much in this incredibly short time. I only have three years and 60(ish) days left.

At present I am in the library watching people run towards the seemingly free computer to my left, when it is in fact, just an unattended one. The bint it belongs to, after spending half an hour gossiping has gone to pick up her dissertation from the binders. I contemplated making mini-obituaries for them all, as a 'welcome back, bitches' present. Hers would read:

Annoying bitch one. Loved dissertations and recycled pens. Died doing what she loved - saving her dissertation. Noone saw the fire coming.

This is quite fun. Re-formatting my blog I mean. Now it is 'unconventional' and I am 'cool'. I am so bored, I'm even contemplating doing my Catalan coursework which is due Monday. But because it is work, I am avoiding this, by doing other work.

Quel vie ennuyeuse je mène.

If I only had a brain...

So last night was not good. I went to the 'legendary' (for all the wrong reasons) Carleton (Morecambe without the Wise). God it was bad. £4 for a quadruple, thats 4 shots, vodka and mixer. One of those was enough to take me to the level of drunkness I have only acheived thrice before. This was so bad, I was 'violent', so it was recommended I go home at midnight. Being stingey, I thought I'd walk, figuring it's not far at all. It is. 2 hours later I staggered in the door to Sulby Manor. People ask me how I knew where to go. Being a man, I needed no map, I went with the man-stinct of 'following signs', which helped. It was annoying being told by a mile of signs saying '1 3/4miles'. Also. ASDA at 1am is fun. It should happen more often.

Also. I bet she's lifted her witch-skirt up and is shagging him against a wall. To quote Becca...

No me gusta la nieve

I opted for a Spanish title today, so as to avoid any messy partative, definite, indefinite articles with the French equivalent (I'm still unsure how to say it in French). My confidence in French is slowly waning. Today we went over the grammar test we did yesterday (not that they'd been marked, don't be daft - this is the French department we're on about), and well, it just confirmed, if not more so, how shit I am at French.

To top this off, it is now snowing. I know this because a. I opened my curtains to discover this at 8.30. By 8.45 it had gone, again. and b. because it started again, just as I started walking back from town. On the other hand, according to the glorious 'Lancaster Guardian' a 'baby dies from herpes-virus inquest'. I'm unsure what this means, did a baby die from herpes and there is a virus inquest, or did the baby die as a result of an inquest into the herpes virus. I suppose I could buy the paper and find out. But this would be traitorous to the marvellous 'Pontefract & Castleford Express' or the Pont&Cas as we so lovingly call it (unless you're from Cas and call it the Cas&Pont. Weirdos.)

Anyway, yum yums await :)

That's a-my pizza!

I have just been hit by a sudden urge to make stuffing. I felt this was a good enough excuse to blog.

The afternoon was quite bland, as per. A talk from Fred, a man who used several terms that we rarely use in English, about how we MUST go to Catalunya on our year abroad at some point. This lesson was improved by me and Leona describing Amy Winehouse (she has capell alt instead of capell llarg (still my favourite word) and és borratxa) and Bowland Tower (amb 10 suicidis cada any). Actually really fun.

This was followed by Oppressor, which was equally as funny, but I'm unsure why. Many bizarre things happened/were said, and it was very philosophical. Odd.

Anyway, stuffing beckons!

Oh, shut up, Bernard.

Today has been eventful. Well, if that is the word. As I had my grammar test a las nueve, I woke up bang on half past 7, in time for my alarm, showered (before going to a 9o'clock - this was scary - it never happens to me, ever) and then wondered what to do. I decided upon getting an early bus so I could sit and have a cry about French in the room before it began. This was handy as there had been a crash just before campus, causing queues. As a result of this, I made it in plenty of time, whilst others did not.

On the topic of the crash, it was very boring. A bus appeared to have collided into the back of a small white van, and as such, the transport network was crippled! Planes were grounded at Heathrow, ferries were not sailing from Southampton, trains were even cancelled in Japan. Well, OK, that is a slight exageration. But still. Eventful.

Then the cursed test. How I wish I could speak French. The first question was enough to bring everyone in the room to tears. And it just got worse. Articles, followed by pronouns, followed by relative pronouns, and the past tenses. The past tenses posed many issues - do I use the real past tenses, or the poncey literary ones which are thankfully slowly dying? I opted for the real ones. It was probably a bad choice. I don't like how so many people left early from the test either. I felt I could not concentrate afterwards. Bad times.

As if that wasn't tortuous enough, this was followed by, at 11 o'clock, my French group discussion, with the fakest French person ever. Faker than Sarko. If I'm honest, it wasn't as bad as anticipated, I got the text I knew the most, and managed to "eeeuuuuhhhh" and "bennnnn" enough to pan out the 8 minutes, so I can't complain. If I'm lucky she'll give me a high mark (for her), maybe a 50.

This may be last post, as I will either end up in prison for slaughtering the noisy fuckers sat opposite me in the library, or I will be hanged for eating in the library. Either one cannot end well.

His hair proves it.

Today has been full of weird things. Well, not full of. Well, OK, one weird thing. OK! So it was a normal day. Or was it?

I actually did revision today, in the library - without a computador! I got loads done, but alas, cannot remember any of it. I put a cheque in my bank account (I hope Grampi remembers he sent me one for my 20th) and looked at the pitiful display of cards available in Clintons for Craig's birthday. I was not impressed. Also, why is 21 so significant that it merits a card, but changing both numbers in your age (from 19 to 20) not card-worthy?! I forgot my iPod as well today, so had to beg Lauren to borrow hers while I library time-d. I pushed it a little when I asked her to come find me to collect it, and to bring me chocolate. Nevertheless, she brought my chocolate. It was good :)

I am still making Catalan Spanishy. Maria must get so annoyed. So many y's instead of i's.

I finished watching the first series of Blackadder this morning. The man who shouts alot on E4 was in it. Very weird. He said something though which made me chuckle, I think it shall be my thought for the day:

"15 years in France teaches a man to hate. 15 years of wearing perfume. 15 years of eating frogs. 15 years of 'par-don'."

It made me chuckle, how since Blackadder was made, infact since it was set, late 1400s I think, nothing much has changed about the French.

Also I saw Ruth today, in Alex Square. There was an awkward pointy/wavey moment combined with a 'do I shout 'Hey Ruth!"?' moment. I hope it pleases her that she got a mention in this.

Silence, Grumbledook!

So recently I have begun to watch Blackadder, again, from the start. There is something about the first series that just wasn't as funny. Don't get me wrong, it is incredibly funny, but it's not as funny as the other ones. I'm unsure why though. I watched an episode last night where he has to marry the Spanish Infanta, who was just Miriam Margoyles, and, in true language geek fashion, I was listening along to the Spanish, which, surprisingly, was accurate. I approved and drank my Ribena contentedly.

Today, I shall revise, for tomorrow is the day of judgement. I have a grammar test at 9am, on various key grammatical points I could never, EVER, understand, so will have to relearn them today, and furthermore, a les onze, I have my French 'group presentation/discussion'. I'm not especially scared of it, I'm just scared of my lack of knowledge of French idioms. Naturally I am more scared about the former, and shall spend a good deal of my day in the library revising. When I say revising, I mean without a computer. God I'm hardcore.

J'ai mal a la tete

Antes de comencar, I wish to recommend that you NEVER, EVER go to Elements in Lancaster. *shudders* It's so very Yorkshireish.

I will explain what I mean by this. It was full of a. old people (late 20s, early 30s), b. chavs, c. tangerine coloured people, d. a + b tangerined. God it was bad. There was also a fight. I've never felt as home. It also cost £40 for 7 people to get in. Disgusting.

Also, Eminem is back? I thought he died. Or at least stopped making 'music'. This is not good. Music these days is just terrible. Example: The Saturday's killing 'I Just can't get enough.'

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABTYH5RIjWU - Jo Brand - Hit me baby one more time :)

Tchus!