So many lies...

Well, the exam went as terribly as planned. I managed to make up so many lies about pension policy in France and about French agriculture, but I think I managed to pass. Just. It was all terribly boring in the exam. Invigilators kept disappearing, and reading the exam papers, as is tradition. I got incredibly bored. We had to write double spaced, or "on each second line" as the weird woman said, who didn't understand I wanted to rip the cover off with the questions on, so I didn't have to keep flicking to the back. She had to get back up from Birgit. Thankfully, Birgit knew what was going on. I swear they let morons work for DELC.

Also, today we went to "Wibbly Wobblies" for luncheon. It was nice, if a little pricey. I was also disappointed by the "blackcurrant" ice cream Katie bought me. It was just vanilla, with a hunt of purple. Not a patch on Italian gelati. God, I miss gelati.

Not my soul! Anything but my soul!

Well, today is judgement day. I shan't capitalise it, as it's not THE Judgement Day. It's my own personal judgement day, in which I have to face the epic Euro200 exam. The one exam that I've actually thought it will be a miracle if I can pass. It just doesn't make sense. Any of it. I'd rather the exam were in French. Or Swedish. Or Afrikaans. I could answer it better. I shall blogg later. Now, I must weep.

A day of tea, Muse and Pflegeversicherung

Today, I decided against going to the library to revise. Mainly, because I like having a soul, and the library cannot have mine. I have done some revision at home, but it has been halted, due to Birgit's incessant usage of silly German words. I mean Pflegeversicherung, Mitbestimmunsgesetz, and Betriebsverfassungsgesetz are all silly, silly words. I did make a rather marvellous blogg, giving you all a brief history of Germany since 1871, but then, my laptop froze, as per, so I started again. Wikipedia it if you're that bothered.

And now, I must return to my Sozialleistungsquote, or Social Expenditure Rate. No, it's no clearer to me in English either.

Make. It. Stop.

Today, I have done 3 hours of solid revision for my Euro200 module. It is just so boring. I have made a list (4 pages long, no less) of terms to look up, or "unknowns" as I have called them. I am currently on term 5 of about 30. It is so boring. Never again will I have a need to know that Social Market Economy in German is Soziale Markwirtschaft. Tonight is Britain's Got Talent and Domino's time. Thankfully. I hope Katie has wine for us to drink, whilst we most definitely do not discuss the text.

My sock also returned. I am content.

Ode to sock

Well, today people, is a very sad day indeed. For the first time ever, I have lost a sock whilst doing the laundry. I have no idea where it could be. It can only be in the corner where I dump dirty clothes to be u, or in the washing machine. Or en-route to the washing machine. I have conducted a thorough search of all 3 possible places, and nothing has been found. Iceland's Eurovision song (mentioned in the previous blogg) has new meaning. Alas stripey light blue sock, I knew yee well. That was pretty bad, and I apologise.

In other news, I watched Burn After Reading today. I was so let down it was unbelievable. I don't recommend it at all. It wasn't even part of the "it's so bad, you have to watch it" category. It was just bad. AVOID.

A tale of lost lottery tickets, "Spanalan" and Tom Hanks

Today has been a mixed one. I started the day waking up to my alarm clock, which was put on snooze several times, until I decided that I should really get up and practise my Catalan presentation. I say practise, I mean just saying it over and over again hoping it sinks in. I then proceeded to campus, picked up my Euro200 texts (I will comment on these when I start to work on them on Thursday no doubt), and went to sit in one of the DELC kitchens amb la Katie. Cristina passed us and wished us "Que vagi bé", meaning "all the best" (or to grammar nazis like myself, 'That it goes well'). This was confusing, as Cristina taught us Spanish last year, and hearing her speak in Catalan was just odd. I had been pre-warned to not look at Fred when I went in, so this I did. First, I had to read out my library card, which they had on a piece of paper, for 'anonymity', even though they could tell it was me by my voice. Then proceeded, seeing Fred out of the corner of my eye, looking grumpy and writing things down. I assumed he did this for everyone else. Well, I hope he did. Everything went well, until I left and said 'Adios' instead of 'Adéu'. So close.

I have been Eurovisioning alot today. I have realised the meaning behind the lyrics of Iceland's entry. She lost her lottery ticket. "Is it true? Is it over? Did I throw it awaaaaay? Was it you? Did you tell me, you would never leave me this way?" Clearly refering to her losing her ticket, struggling to cope with it, and blaming whoever 'you' is, who then proceeds to leave her.

I also went to watch Angels and Demons today. Apart from Tom Hanks not being right for Robert Langdon, the film was quite flawed. Victor Victoria, or whatever her name was, was a poor actress, and it changed a key element in the plot, in that the 4th cardinal survived and became el Papa. Stupid Ron Howard.

My, anything to avoid revision!

Me and Naomi today have emailed the BNP. Below is the email we sent, followed by our suggestion to 'Genius'. Enjoy.

To whom it may concern,

we recently received your helpful and informative leaflet illustrating the British National Party's (BNP) beliefs and politics. Not only was it informative, but also entertaining. We do feel we should highlight some innaccuracies in your facts, however.

Firstly, we commend you for your presentation in this leaflet, but the fact that you seem to think that the entire population of Turkey, plus a few million extra (CIA World Fact book, or Wikipedia. My little sister could find that out, and she's 6) are going to "swamp britain" seems unrealistic and sensationalist. This would leave Turkey desolate. Would this give property developpers a new oppurtunity? To buy and develop the country of Turkey? Also, if they do 'swamp' Britain, why don't we just move there: a. it's warmer, b. it's cheaper. Think of the advantages! We propose a time-share scheme with the country of Turkey.

We are also intrigued by your use of various military 'victories' in your 'slogan' "Because WE'VE earned the right!". It cites Trafalgar, The Somme, Dunkirk, D-Day and The Falklands. A few things here. Trafalgar, we shall let you have, that was indeed a victory, over our now ally, the French. The Somme, is a victory in the sense that it wiped out almost an entire generation of our young men, only to advance a few metres, leaving France scarred with the blood of our troops for decades to come. Dunkirk, for those not in the know, was an actual retreat. A bit like Vietnam. The Falklands, really? REALLY?

Let us move on to the European Union. Or the 'Common Market' as some of your voters like to call it. It's not really that bad of a concept. It provides support to our country. I accept that France get much more than their fair share of the CAP subsiduaries, but, aside from that, what bad has the EU really caused Britain? Immigration is a natural part of a country's growth. Our country is steeped in immigration, providing a fertile place for different ideas to merge and blossom, creating the Britain we know today.

"It's not racist to oppose mass immigration and political correctness" Have you not seen Hairspray?! Or, are there too many 'negros' in it for your liking? We would like to draw attention to the fact that every person on your leaflet is white. Have you considered branching out? Appealing to those immigrants who have lived in our country for generations?

We suggest you change BNP to stand for Bullsh*t, No Tolerance, and Poor grasp on reality.

Hopefully, you will consider what we have said, and we thankyou for taking the time to read our suggestions.

Yours sincerly,

(Interracial hugs and kisses)

Martin and Naomi

P.s. The muslim turks send their love x

Solution for immigration: Immigration is a widely debated topic; we suggest a time-share between countries that allows whole countries to swap for the summer, hence giving immigrants a chance to properly experience britain. for example, Turkey; they come over here while we take advantage of their sunshine, and they make the most of the British experience. Freaky Friday, but with countries

Possible swaps: America and Iran; Wales and Argentina; Scotland and Kenya; Australia and Antarctica; China and Greenland; Not only could this bond nations as it basically involves a giant mass holiday away, but also would allow different countries to properly understand the other's culture, issues and way of life. Also, this would be a big boost for tourism everywhere. Novelty mug sales would go through the roof!

Apparently...

I am these things, according to a quiz on Facebook. I say quiz. It simply involved clicking which month you were born in. These are January traits.


Ambitious and serious - I suppose
Loves to teach and be taught - Little bit.
Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses - Hah. Yes.
Likes to criticize - Duh.
Hardworking and productive - Varies
Smart, neat and organized - Neat and Organised = YES!
Sensitive and has deep thoughts - Sometimes
Knows how to make others happy - I do?
Quiet unless excited or tensed - Perhaps
Rather reserved - Maybe?
Highly attentive - Have they ever sat through a Zaddy seminar? You cannot be attentive in them...
Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds - YES!
Romantic but has difficulties expressing love - yes?
Loves children - NO!
Homely person - I prefer the term 'domestic'
Loyal
Needs to improve social abilities - Yes.
Easily jealous - Yep.

When I was Miss Baltimore Craaaaaabs

What does that even mean? I'm not doubting the awesome-ness of Hairspray, but I mean the title of Michelle Pfeiffer in this is dubious. I actually properly watched the film yesterday, after previously making do with a series of unrelated clips on youtube. It is actually an amazingly amazing film. Casual racism, and fattism set to a backdrop of musical interludes. "I wish every day were Negro Day."

Not alot has happened recently. Except avoidance of revision.

Even though it hurts...

Well, we are living, at present, in an era in which I've not consciously lived in for some time. I am talking of course about Eurovision success! Having been out the night before, I had every intention of not drinking whilst watching Eurovision. As soon as Lithuania came on, I changed my mind. 2 bottles of wine, 173 points, and man in a green catsuit later, the excitement hit! We finished fifth! Actual fifth! And not last! Of course, one must feel sorry for the Ukrainian woman. She remortgaged her flat to afford her hamster wheels and future romans. I was unsure about Graham Norton's commentary at first, but as the alcohol started flowing, his commentary got much more Graham-esque. Comments about the Michelle McManus woman from Malta never having met a Malteser she didn't like. Harsh.


And now, today shall be spent in the library, trying to upload pictures onto facebook, cos my laptop hates me. Ugh.