Well, these past few days have been full of many stars for me. No no, not the celestial type (that means stars in the sky, Ruth). I mean, of course, the famous type. I'm gonna be honest, it's not changed me one iota. I'm also gonna be honest about iotas. I don't know what they are, but I assume them to be a very small unit of measurement of some sort.
Anyway, anyway, anyway. On Friday, word had reached us that Stavros Flatley (one of the finalists from Britain's Got Talent) were to perform at Xscape. Naturally we were excited, cos they're fricking awesome. Well, they were. We got there relatively late, compared to all the mothers who lack jobs. We thought we'd got a reasonably reasonable place in which to see them. This was before chavs and tall people pushed in front of us. Then Davie got told off for pushing in front of some vertically challenged children and their vertically challenged mothers. He hadn't, they just couldn't see and blamed the nearest tall person. Well, one hour late, proceedings commenced with some man from Radio Aire (96.3) asking us if we were ready for Stavros Flatley. We were. Which is exactly why he sent on some bint to sing. He did this another two times before they came on. Turns out our position was poor at best. We couldn't see anything except their heads barely. They did the same routine they did on the telly, and then some bint from Calendar (ITV's local news. Ugh.) went to interview them and got them to show her their signature move. Then we left. In disgust.
Celebrity number 2. Yesterday, I had work. And, as Wakefield were playing some obscure southern team (Celtic Crusaders, I believe. Lost 21 games out of 24.) they had gotten Diversity (winners of BGT) to come and perform, and meet the kiddies. Now, I have never been so glad to be working. Maybe. I wasn't especially over excited. Like I pointed out to Jacqui, they'll have disappeared into obscurity by this time next year. Hopefully. Anyway, Mavis jumped straight in and went round them all getting their autographs. We can beat this. Well, Jacqui can. They decided they wanted some of our burgers. They are brave like that. And Jacqui, useless agency person and myself served them. Jacqui got autographs for herself, and I just got bored. I honestly didn't care. It felt weird not caring. But, as far as I'm concerned, they're not proper celebrities. If you went to see a panto, you wouldn't wait at the exit to get the autographs of the chorus, would you?
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