My, anything to avoid revision!

Me and Naomi today have emailed the BNP. Below is the email we sent, followed by our suggestion to 'Genius'. Enjoy.

To whom it may concern,

we recently received your helpful and informative leaflet illustrating the British National Party's (BNP) beliefs and politics. Not only was it informative, but also entertaining. We do feel we should highlight some innaccuracies in your facts, however.

Firstly, we commend you for your presentation in this leaflet, but the fact that you seem to think that the entire population of Turkey, plus a few million extra (CIA World Fact book, or Wikipedia. My little sister could find that out, and she's 6) are going to "swamp britain" seems unrealistic and sensationalist. This would leave Turkey desolate. Would this give property developpers a new oppurtunity? To buy and develop the country of Turkey? Also, if they do 'swamp' Britain, why don't we just move there: a. it's warmer, b. it's cheaper. Think of the advantages! We propose a time-share scheme with the country of Turkey.

We are also intrigued by your use of various military 'victories' in your 'slogan' "Because WE'VE earned the right!". It cites Trafalgar, The Somme, Dunkirk, D-Day and The Falklands. A few things here. Trafalgar, we shall let you have, that was indeed a victory, over our now ally, the French. The Somme, is a victory in the sense that it wiped out almost an entire generation of our young men, only to advance a few metres, leaving France scarred with the blood of our troops for decades to come. Dunkirk, for those not in the know, was an actual retreat. A bit like Vietnam. The Falklands, really? REALLY?

Let us move on to the European Union. Or the 'Common Market' as some of your voters like to call it. It's not really that bad of a concept. It provides support to our country. I accept that France get much more than their fair share of the CAP subsiduaries, but, aside from that, what bad has the EU really caused Britain? Immigration is a natural part of a country's growth. Our country is steeped in immigration, providing a fertile place for different ideas to merge and blossom, creating the Britain we know today.

"It's not racist to oppose mass immigration and political correctness" Have you not seen Hairspray?! Or, are there too many 'negros' in it for your liking? We would like to draw attention to the fact that every person on your leaflet is white. Have you considered branching out? Appealing to those immigrants who have lived in our country for generations?

We suggest you change BNP to stand for Bullsh*t, No Tolerance, and Poor grasp on reality.

Hopefully, you will consider what we have said, and we thankyou for taking the time to read our suggestions.

Yours sincerly,

(Interracial hugs and kisses)

Martin and Naomi

P.s. The muslim turks send their love x

Solution for immigration: Immigration is a widely debated topic; we suggest a time-share between countries that allows whole countries to swap for the summer, hence giving immigrants a chance to properly experience britain. for example, Turkey; they come over here while we take advantage of their sunshine, and they make the most of the British experience. Freaky Friday, but with countries

Possible swaps: America and Iran; Wales and Argentina; Scotland and Kenya; Australia and Antarctica; China and Greenland; Not only could this bond nations as it basically involves a giant mass holiday away, but also would allow different countries to properly understand the other's culture, issues and way of life. Also, this would be a big boost for tourism everywhere. Novelty mug sales would go through the roof!